“…and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” Ephesians 6:15
Early this week, my boys and I took a bike ride. It wasn’t long before one of my sons said his legs hurt, specifically his shins. Full transparency, I was a little frustrated. This son asked to do the bike ride, but multiple times over the last several weeks has complained about his legs hurting when we ride. Now, some perspective, we have ridden probably 6 times further than this short ride with no issues so I just didn’t get it. What was going on, what changed? Was it a real physical issue or was it a personal “resistance” issue to something else going on?
As I easily glided along on my bike, I thought about the pain he mentioned, his shins. My shins didn’t hurt at all, so I made sure to verify by pointing where his legs hurt. Then he went as far as jumping off his bike and running next to it. I said, “Your shins don’t hurt while doing that?” No. He was that desperate to get relief he would rather run next to his bike than ride it. “Wow,” I thought. So, being fairly close to home, in the country, away from cars, I said, let me run home drop my bike off and come back to help you get this home.
My other son rode off with me and I continued to talk out loud trying to solve this problem. It wasn’t our first problem of the day….so I wasn’t sure if was a true problem or not…if you can read between the lines here, but I was ready to feel like a complete jerk and God was about to reveal a huge “ah-ha” for me. I looked back seeing my son sad, walking his bike home alone, waiting on me. I asked my other son to ride back and I would walk. Between the two of us, we could get everyone and bike back. When we arrived back to help, my oldest son and I each hopped on the remaining bikes to give my youngest a break and he rode on the back. It wasn’t long before my oldest yelled out, “Man, this bike is so hard to ride. Mom, it has a flat tire.” Next out of my mouth was, “Man, this bike is so hard to ride. It’s hurting my shins.” I was crouched small to ride a small bike and the way my legs were pressing down put pressure in my shins. In minutes we realized, this bike needed the seat raised and the tire filled up. We would never have known how to help had we not literally walked (or ridden) a mile in my son’s shoes.
I came home feeling terrible I hadn’t known how to solve that problem quicker. I felt terrible that inside I had been frustrated and annoyed at this ongoing issue that I couldn’t solve. I felt terrible for making assumptions about some of these complaints based on other things happening during the day. Sigh. I felt very, very humbled.
But God…
God knows how to take anything that happens and use it for our good.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
We never know the struggle someone is walking through every day and until we choose to walk in their shoes, feel their pain and suffer with them, we may never understand. God has taught me a lot about love these last several years and true love is described in 1 Corinthians 13. And it’s first trait is:
“Love is patient…” 1 Corinthians 13:4
We are further taught that:
“…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23
Love means to “long-suffer” for someone, forebear, “patiently endure lasting hardship.1”
Another day this week, I asked one of my son’s to adjust his plans for the other, I explained my reasons. He replied, “So I am supposed to suffer for him?” And I said, “Yes.”
True love, is when you climb down into the trenches and you long suffer with someone. You feel their pain while you gain perspective on your own pain. Often you would never trade each other places, but when you seek to understand the “shoes” they are walking in, you will listen a little closer, try a little harder, pray a little more, and maybe use your shoes a little more than your mouth or fingers to text for words to help them.
How often do we share our “sympathy” for someone yet not show up for them? How often do we see the person struggle on their bike but not hop on to see what the issue is to help them? How often do we avoid an uncomfortable conversation because we aren’t sure what to say?
Job knew suffering well and during his suffering, his wife encouraged him to “Curse God,” but Job said:
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble.” Job 2:10
But God sent friends to forebear and…
“…they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:13
Seven days, seven nights of uncomfortable silence while watching someone you love suffer. That is love. But don’t be fooled, suffering isn’t just physical suffering. Sometimes I think people can be great at showing up when someone dies or gets sick, but what about when they have experienced a great rejection or betrayal? What about when someone has shown great courage and gotten no support? What about when someone is the subject of much gossip that may be false assumptions? What about when someone has confessed to a sin or struggle and are cast aside? Whoever has been pushed to the outside, may be a sheep that you can walk with and understand a little more.
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?” Matthew 18:12
Father please help us to be your shoes. Help us to go after the sheep that are pushed aside, lost, lonely, forgotten, alone, and suffering. Help our eyes to see those among us who need to be understood in a new way. Many of us are suffering as well, please send someone to see us so that we may be re-lit and on fire again. Establish humble hearts within us. Make us brave and give us strength to long-suffer with the ones you call us to. We ask these things in Jesus name, Amen.
Today’s image is from probably 6 years ago. These are the two gifts God sent me to teach me how to walk in someone else’s shoes (early in our biking years). I’ve put a lot of miles on those shoes chasing them; so many, my body can’t do it as much anymore. I’ve learned how to have late nights of suffering through illnesses, tears, misunderstandings. I had to become less selfish and learn how to wake up day after day putting someone else’s needs as a priority often above my own. I have long-suffered yet I am all the more better because of it and I am thankful to wake up each day with the chance to begin again and learn from yesterday’s mistakes and with an opportunity to love even better today. Thank you God for second chances…and thirds… and fourths…to infinity!
Love to you, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Shoes
Show me the next step I should take.