“Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.” 2 Corinthians 9:10
As I said goodnight to one of my sons, a sudden tightening tension seized the muscles in my upper back and neck. It became so severe so quickly I could barely turn my head, move my body, lie down or pull myself back up without severe pain and discomfort. I was in anguish.
Pacing around my home throughout the wee hours of the night into the morning, I had many desperate pleas to the Lord. I opened my Bible, tried a soothing tea, rubbed on essential oils, and took a hot bath. Anguish. I cried out for help. I asked God what my pain was telling me. What had gripped me so greatly to cause tension, tightening, and severe pain in the muscles of my neck and upper back. Severe enough I had to sit and feel it. I couldn’t run from it…..But God; He started to take me on a journey to show me how I got to this moment.
Earlier this week, I walked from my home out to the back of our yard to a bench. I needed a bit of a breather. I felt I had been hitting a wall reaching my son. Seeing patterns and warnings and speaking them to which I felt unheard and frustrated. “What am I missing Father,” I wondered. Defeated, I sat down on the bench. It wasn’t just any bench, it was a bench my boys and I built to honor my dog Oscar who died on Christmas just last year. We sat it next to his grave on his birthday, March 19, 2023. That day while almost spring, was at the tail end of winter and I had on my heart to plant wildflower seeds in the dirt that covered his body.
Seeds….
They offered hope. New life to spring forth into something beautiful. I told the boys, “I know it seems silly to plant these on this very cold winter day, but what do we have to lose?”
As I sat on the bench on a scorching hot August afternoon feeling defeated and desperate to hear from God a word of encouragement, I glanced in front of me and to the right of the bench and something caught my eye. A single wildflower was growing in the expanse of tall green grass that had filled in the once desolate area where fresh dirt once lay. One, small wildflower in my favorite color, yellow. It was an awakening to me that God was teaching me something about seeds….
When you plant a seed, you water it and wait.
Wait for sunlight to come, wait for the seed coat to moisten and open, wait for growth, wait for nutrients to be absorbed, wait for the beautiful gift of whatever is being developed to arrive. Some seeds sprout quickly like the radishes we planted in a pot. Within a very short time green appeared! Excitement, hope! Some need to be replanted because the wind just blew them away, like my zinnias this year which I planted three times. Others take months to bloom, like the sunflower which stands like a beauty to which hundreds more seeds are formed in it’s head. One set of seeds even surprised me this year; they sprouted something different than what I thought I planted. Jalapeno peppers formed instead of the bell peppers on the package! And then there is the seed that you forget about. It took so long to form that you moved on and assumed it just didn’t make it….then, wow, a miracle, like my wildflower sprouting after waiting months and months and moving on.
See, that day on the bench, our Father knew that I needed a lesson in how seeds grow because the “seeds” I was planting in my son felt like that of the zinnia at times, being blown away. So I would replant them. Then at other times like that of the jalapeno pepper, “What is developing here, I thought I planted a different seed!” To then the sunflower, “Wow, I think we are harvesting a beauty here…..” To which I felt like the wildflower that day…..nothing is happening here, why am I even trying…..
God began to remind me that there are many types of seeds. That my job was to plant them, maybe water them from time to time, but it was His job to do the rest. That strain in my muscles which made me unable to move, turn my head, lie down with ease, well I believe that was my “control” popping up. My struggle to lay down the “process” of seed development and trust. I wanted a flower emerging and it wasn’t time for that yet.
Seeds are mentioned in the Bible many times! The parable of the sower out of Matthew 13 is one that resonates.
“When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The seed falling on rock ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown.” Matthew 13: 19-23
I have always read this and wanted to be the “seed” that falls on good soil. But God….He taught me something new about seeds this time. He taught me that there can be many good seeds planted, but they are all tended differently. They all sprout and arrive at different times. That even if they fall on good soil, the harvest of that crop may come at a different time than mine. He taught me a deeper meaning in patience and trust. It was as if He lovingly said,
“Julie, be a good seed, plant more good seeds, but let me be in charge of the timing of the harvest.”
So, from this week on, I am surrendering my seeds back to the best farmer I know, our Father in Heaven.
Farmers know a thing or two about surrendering seeds that we can all learn from. If you are a farmer out there, thank you for your faith!
What seeds have you planted that you are waiting on God to tend, develop, grow, and harvest?
Ask Him today for wisdom around your “seeds” that can help you trust His timing.
Surrendering seeds with you, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Seeds
Show me the next step I should take.