“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
My boys and I sat to watch a movie this week and it had become a hot debate. Apparently only I wanted to watch this animated film and for some reason it sparked a stronger debate than normal. I read some reviews to make sure I didn’t forge in and then get an “I told you so” about something bad or inappropriate and it seemed like a solid pick, so we sat down for this new adventure. In this film, a robot unexpectedly becomes a mother to a gosling. Her sidekick, a fox rejected by the rest of the animals on the island due to his mischief, becomes her friend. The robot whose once role was to serve a human and provide whatever task might be needed ended up crash landed on an island with only animals who rejected her because she looked like nothing they had seen; however, when finding an unhatched gosling egg, she landed a role not yet claimed, a mother.
Several years ago, shortly after we moved into our current home, I felt a bit like that robot. I had crash landed into the country where everything I was once trained to do was stripped and I was starting out in a fresh role. I had started this world out as a daughter and sister. Then, my roles transitioned through student, employee, intern, dietitian, foodservice director, and teacher. Along the way, I also became a mother. What I have learned in motherhood is that it is an umbrella term for so many roles we don’t have time to explore them all. Sometimes you are a caregiver, other times an observer. Sometimes you council and mediate, other times you are a referee in a boxing ring. There are days you teach with a smile and others where the lessons make you cry. You can be a hug one day yet on another day hugs aren’t allowed (without force J). You are the meal planner and cook, director of operations, payroll department, human resources, and health services all in one. Wait a second; I think in the parent role, we may just cover every department in a school district!
But on this particular day…I felt like a nobody who was trying to figure out who I was because I didn’t feel really good in the role God had called me to. I felt more like a drill sergeant on a remote island where I wasn’t sure what my goal was except survive. Feeling focused on unpacking yet aimless at the same time, I headed out into the hallway where we stored our moving boxes to grab the last one. It was likely no coincidence what was in there, a box of old certificates and awards from various roles I had been in. I felt God lead me in pulling them out one by one, I wasn’t sure what to think, feel, or do with them as they weren’t really who I was anymore.
But God….
He reminded me, all of those things are still within me and they had prepared me for what my role was right now. My days as a younger sister had taught me perspective on what it feels like to come “last” in the family to help my youngest feel more seen. They also helped me provide perspective to my oldest about things to consider in his role. My days as a student and intern helped me to remember what it was like to be learning a lot and juggling it all as I figured out how to navigate the world and figure out who I was, which my children are walking through too. My days as an employee helped me to teach my kids a good work ethic, how to see things that need to be done, and do them. How to be part of a team. My days as foodservice director helped me to handle a budget, make purchasing decisions, plan meals, purchase and store food, and organize when you have a million things flying at you at once. Not to mention it taught me how to know who to call for help! So while my environment and my audience may have changed, everything I had walked through was preparing me…
“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
I am not sure what role may have recently ended in your life or what new role you may be beginning. Maybe God has offered you a new role and you are deciding if you should accept it. If or when you begin to question or doubt, pause and reflect, because God has been preparing you for this role. He believes in you. He prepares those He appoints and He will provide you everything you need.
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us….” Romans 12:6
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10
AND
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters… It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24
The other miraculous thing that occurred in the movie as the characters began learning their “role,” they struggled together doing things they didn’t feel good at, and experienced love for the first time. Their suffering and struggles bonded them together to form an unlikely family unit, doing things that weren’t easy, yet returning to give it all they had every day. Once all the “goals” were accomplished they weren’t sure they wanted to return to their “original” lives because they weren’t the same anymore, they had discovered a new part of themselves that would have gone undiscovered if staying in the old comfortable place.
Their vulnerability led to the ability to love and be loved.
Father, today, help us to acknowledge the role you have placed us in. Help us to have courage to continue that role even when we don’t feel great at it. Support us as we feel vulnerable learning something new and showing our weakness as we learn. Fill us with love and give us the ability to love well while we learn. Teach us new things about ourselves that remind us none of our life has been wasted but that you have been preparing us for the exact moment we are in to restore anything that has been lost. We love you. We appreciate you. We need you. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
P.S. Today’s picture is many years ago with my fox and gosling. Yep, we were surviving and along the way I learned what love is all about and I am so grateful I said “yes” to God’s invitation to travel new pathways with an unlikely crew.
Love to you, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Role
Show me the next step I should take.