“See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.” Exodus 23:20
A few years ago, I made a life change many people were not expecting, I left my career as a Registered Dietitian, Food Service Director. I had worked very hard to prepare for that role. Many years of schooling, an internship, work as an RD in a hospital, and other leadership experiences. Not to mention the preparation leading to that moment which included early morning hours filling drinks, cleaning empty trays, and washing dishes at the local hospital for experience to even be accepted into the program! Which further travels back to more preparation needed in my K-12 years of studying, late nights, etc., etc., etc. You get the point. A LOT of preparation!
My views of “preparation” shifted in the last several years. My preparation used to be “my preparation.” I laid out a goal and worked with myself or others to help me figure out how to get there; however a dramatic shift came when I surrendered my life to the Lord. I remember very specifically one evening in my small home before bed reflecting on this passage:
“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24
I remember asking God that night, “What does that look like for me?” I was single, raising two boys in a well-established career. I didn’t just have a fishing pole to lie down; I had an entire life with people who depended on me. It didn’t take Him long to show me, to “prepare” me. It began with money, followed by relationships, choices, and time. Day after day, little after little, I was re-ordering things. In that time, I sold my home to rent which felt scary at first yet certain. I paid off debts. I spent less on certain things and more on others. I eliminated certain expenses that weren’t “necessary,” and I saved money I wasn’t able to before.
Before I knew it, I was hearing the call to “prepare” to leave my career. It came about a year before I understood the next step. See in my mind I must have needed to move “up.” Like grow my responsibilities, make a bigger impact at perhaps the state level. Until I sat in a meeting after church one day and the questions in my mind were answered. I was needed somewhere else as a science teacher. Now you might think I “heard” wrong. Well, it was a teacher at my children’s school to which I had prayed many nights to bring our family back together. It was a position in which I had education experience; I had been a Biology major with a Chemistry minor. It was in a location that I could freely speak about my faith-which I had longed to do more. It was in a position in high need, long sought after, where I could invest in many students. AND, I would have to give up more than a fishing pole to do this. The salary, benefits, you name it were a significant drop and it just didn’t make worldly sense. BUT, God had prepared me for this moment. He reminded me of that night I asked “What would it look like for me,” and He said, “This is what it looks like.”
Shortly into that year, COVID hit, and after all that “preparation” for this new role, I was home. I was in a new role, teaching online, teaching at the kitchen table and figuring out what was happening in the world. As I glanced back along my path to this moment I realized, “Wow!” He knew what He was doing! Had I not said “Yes” to His many invitations to let go, I would not have been sitting in this moment, home with my children feeling “safe” at what felt like an “unsafe” time. Those days of teaching and being in a school had prepared me for teaching pre-school and 2nd grade students that were my own. Learning what a school day looked like was helping me order my days. The new role I had now taken was better balanced with what I needed to be doing in my family where my old role would have been quite difficult to maintain. I felt grateful, humbled, and my faith amplified!
“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.” Isaiah 30:21
For God knows the plans He has for us, plans to give us hope and a future…. Jeremiah 29:11. While all “MY” past preparation led me to some successful moments, this “God” preparation saved my life, set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand.
What I have learned is that the preparation He provides comes in the form of invitations. Some invitations seemed insignificant, others seemed very significant, but all were necessary to get me where I was going. The fear of making the leaps of faith didn’t compare to the safety and security I was feeling in the moments grateful for listening. I received a small taste of this:
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” Romans 8:18
I didn’t have to wait until Heaven to begin to see glory come from past suffering.
And, this wasn’t the last time I have experienced time and time again evidence of His preparations through the difficult experiences and changes I am experiencing. They are all preparing me for what lies ahead. He loves us that much.
Yesterday, I sat at a basketball game with my sons as we cheered on some friends. As these little ones got wrapped up in support, lifted to make baskets so that each one could get a little moment of glory, I glanced down the bench at my own children who watched. Tears filled my eyes as when my oldest was the age of these little ones, we were surviving some major life changes and that “lift” to the basket moment was not the moment he had received. Next to him was younger brother who had his own sadness for when older brother’s heart hurts so does his. However, the blessing of being able to have friends to support had filled us beyond measure and God reminded me, “I’m preparing them for something great, just watch. No hurt will be wasted.”
For He is the Lord our God, and “God Never Fails anyone.” 1 Corinthians 1:9-11
Today’s image is of me when I was younger full of energy and smiles with a small suitcase. When I looked at it, it reminded me that my preparation for this moment happened long ago. While my body has changed a bit, my soul is still there. I’ve learned some days all I have is a smile, faith, and what I can carry and that is enough.
Remember, you are enough. You are prepared for the moment you are standing in. Your circumstances don’t define you, they refine you. Keep marching on soldiers!
With love, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Preparation
Show me the next step I should take.