“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:29
May 2, 2012 is the day God made me a mother for the first time. Nothing can quite capture the significance of that experience. As you physically surrender your body over to labor out a child, you realize how little control you have and how much you need God. I very vividly remember the moment that I was very close to pushing my first son out. It was an intense labor. Heavy contractions. Moving FAST. I recall the intensity of pain, pressure, and fear of what was coming next as I was asked to push. It felt like the impossible was about to happen or my body was going to explode one or the other. I saw out of the corner of my eye a cross on the wall and I remember realizing, even God couldn’t take this cup from me at that moment. I had to rely on Him while He helped me do the impossible.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Becoming a mother…well, no other role in my life has been quite like it. Many experiences and roles in my life have come and gone. Some roles last a day, others a season, but motherhood, comes one day and lasts for a lifetime. The role doesn’t start at a certain time or stop at 5:00 PM. It doesn’t take vacations, holidays, or sick days. It is a new state of being. It fills your heart and empties it all at the same time. It constantly evolves and changes. Just when you think you are good at it, the dynamics shift and you have to relearn who you are all over again. It is a target that constantly moves and as you line up your eyes on the target of what you believe you should be as a mother, it moves on you again. Motherhood is a very humbling experience.
When I think of motherhood, I often think back to Mary. How her life changed as she prepared for marrying Joseph and starting her adult life with whatever hopes and dreams she may have, when God interrupted that vision with an angelic visit in which she received this message:
“Don’t be afraid, Mary; God has shown you his grace. Listen! You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.” Luke 1: 30-32
I can only imagine what may have gone through Mary’s mind that day. Probably some excitement, I mean to be visited by an angel of God and to be blessed with a pregnancy resulting in the “Son of the Most High!” I am sure Mary had envisioned a baby with her new husband so this part may have been great news.
But God…
He didn’t just send a baby, He sent a mission. Mary’s calling required her to be a mother, yes, but it also challenged her to partner with Joseph while they were likely persecuted, mocked and judged by family and others who didn’t understand God’s calling upon them. It challenged them to trust God as the world caught glimmers of their new son’s significance and sought to harm Him. It challenged her to maintain her identity in God and not her motherhood as she let Jesus leave and minister to the world leading to His death. It challenged her to continue living out God’s will upon her life even when she buried the son God placed in her all those years ago, making her a mother for the first time. I am sure Mary got a little more than she bargained for when she delivered baby Jesus in that stable. When she became a mother and learned to:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I wonder if there were days Mary struggled with the mission God gave her. When she just wanted to hold her child and enjoy the sunshine and see him smile but instead had to watch him grow into the man God needed him to be for us. I wonder if it was hard for her to watch him learn the skill of carpentry and come in with splintered hands and a worn out back from bending over all day. I wonder if Mary was scared when Jesus started to heal people and now their little “secret” of how special He was, became realized and in the hands of the world. I wonder if Mary missed Jesus when he went off in ministry and trained the disciples. Most of all, I wonder if Mary ever questioned if she heard God right when she saw her son being nailed to a cross and taking his last breath after uttering the words:
“…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27: 46
How difficult it must have been to hear Jesus cry out these words before dying. Could Mary have been feeling this same way? Had their journey together been for nothing?
Yet amidst His pain, Jesus looked down upon His mother and a beloved disciple standing with her and said this:
“’Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’” John 19:26-27
As Jesus parted from this world, He wanted to know that His mom was going to be taken care of.
Today is Mother’s Day. It can be a great day and it can be a difficult day. You may be a mother and feel misunderstood, unappreciated, or undervalued. You may be blessed to be in a home that surrounds you with love and acknowledges all that you are. You may not be a mother and wish to be. You may be a mother but have lost the child that made you one. Or, you might just be a man who doesn’t understand what it means to be a mother, but you want to do your part in loving a mother well.
Wherever you are and whatever role you find yourself in, we all must acknowledge that God had a special plan for women, mothers, and the men in their life as He closed out the entire book of Proverbs in an epilogue describing His vision for a woman after His heart. This must have been important to Him.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
You may not feel seen today or are feeling that your role is less important than it once was, but remember, “a woman or man who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Surrendering my motherhood and securing my identity in Christ alone with you, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Motherhood
Show me the next step I should take.