“If I speak…..If I have the gift…..if I have a faith….if I give….but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
I blew out the candle on my birthday cake this week. One year ago the day of my birthday marked the beginning of a venture into the wilderness. I endured much loss, hardship, and refining in my 41st year of life. I thought I was pretty tough before, but I learned who I really am this past year in a whole new way.
I started this year knowing many things, understanding many things, and having a faith that has led me to do many things I never would have had the courage to do before. I also tasted the bitterness of losing that which I loved, testing things I knew, understood, and challenging my faith to help me know, understand, have faith, and love in new ways. Ecclesiastes 3 describes the back and forth of life. When you read it, you may hope to be spared from the swing of the pendulum to the side that doesn’t bring a smile:
“….a time to die;….a time to pluck that which has planted;…a time to kill;…a time to break down;…a time to weep;…a time to mourn;…a time to cast away stones;…a time to refrain from embracing;…a time to lose;…a time to cast away;…a time to rend;…a time to keep silence;…a time to hate;…a time of war.” Ecclesiastes 3:2-8
At 41, I suppose it was my time for all of these things. Maybe I had experienced them all before. Maybe it was in more subtle ways, but this year, I felt them all very powerfully. Each and every one of these times, I labored through to the point I wondered if the pendulum would ever swing the other way. It was the refining in the fire we read about and it burned.
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10
But God…
He continues to teach me what love really is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
And as the pendulum has begun to swing, I realized that in the fire He helped me experience love at a deeper level and is enabling me to love others better through the experience. See if I hadn’t lost that which I love, it would not have hurt or been able to refine me as well. Losing what we love is a sacrifice whether we choose or it is thrust upon us.
“If I…..but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
This year as I blew out the birthday candle, I was reminded it is:
A time to be born…
A time to plant…
A time to heal…
A time to build up…
A time to laugh…
A time to dance…
A time to gather stones together…
A time to embrace…
A time to get…
A time to keep…
A time to sew…
A time to speak…
A time to love…
And a time of peace…
Ecclesiastes 3:2-8
And as I enter my new season, I know many of you are either going to share in the joy, be completing your difficult season, or entering a new difficult season. You are not alone wherever you are. Just keep on going and know you will come out on the other side more beautiful. Let the old burn off and keep trusting that you are more loved than you know.
Love, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Love
Show me the next step I should take.