“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
Eight years ago, I sat in my car in the garage while my children were sleeping and cried. I felt safe in that tucked away place to unravel a bit. Our future had just become hazy. I couldn’t see past tomorrow. Every future “plan” I may have once had in my mind deleted. It was a hard reset. See my then husband had moved out. The reality of all the things that wouldn’t happen settled in. No moving to the bigger home with an expanding family. No certainty of holiday celebrations. No assurance of finances. Even scarier, no certainty of the well-being of my children….and deep down a fear of the loneliness that may settle inside of me as I walked through new territory. But the truth is as I look back on that younger me, I wish I could tell her that none of those “future” plans were certain anyway regardless of a change to our family. Because only the Lord’s purpose prevails.
That day and every day after that, I handed my life back to the Lord. The “plans in my heart” ended and I surrendered to the “Lord’s purpose.” I found a beautiful wall hanging that states the following and hung it in my living room and read it every day:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I read these words and I believed them. God began to teach me a truth I had never embraced.
Letting go…
I began to live in the present. What I was dealing with was too great to really spend time in the past. I had too much uncertainty to spend much time in the future. And the amazing thing that happened was I learned how to live in the present. How to be right where I was because of my past. And Right where I was to prepare for a better future. There was simply no other place to be. For spending time in the past had left me “stuck,” and spending too much time in the future had made me uneasy. And amazingly, amidst the chaos swirling, I was finally living in the present, in my full truth and I had never felt more alive!
In college, I took a beginning psychology course and we read a book titled “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert M. Sapolsky. I don’t remember it all, but I remember the main take away I received. The reason zebras don’t get ulcers is because they spend their days eating grass and surviving and only run scared when a predator (say a lion) is an immediate danger, like right there snagging their friend. They don’t think about who got attacked and eaten yesterday, they aren’t worried about what they will eat tomorrow; they just live in the day they are alive.
Our heavenly Father reassures us of this:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26
The world often teaches us to depend on ourselves, to be self-sustaining in order to be safer, more protected and in some ways it can create peace for a while…. Until something completely out of our control comes crashing in that reminds us of the illusion of our control. That only the Lord’s purpose prevails. So, how do we exist, make plans, set goals, yet relinquish control to God? Coming from a previous control person who surrendered all…
One step, one decision, one day, one prayer at a time.
It requires flexibility to change plans and see things differently. It requires humility, to not always know what is coming but trust God enough to keep walking. And it requires tremendous patience to not push your own plans through while you wait on God to order the steps, open the doors, and bring the people before you to work with because rarely do His plans not involve cooperation with other people.
Sometimes it takes years before the “ah-ha” moment comes where you may get a glimmer of insight as to what God may have been doing when He led you to where you are and then in one wowzer moment you are so glad you said “yes” to His invitation into the unknown that you want to yell it from the rooftops! Other times, the reasons for why certain things work out the way they do remains unclear; however, each step of faith in an unknown future reminds you and God that you trust Him and you will never regret doing that.
One day about 2 years ago, I stood talking to a woman, a mother, on a day when I felt the weight of an uncertain future. I believed I was listening to God, but where I stood felt scary. Tears filled my eyes as I spoke to her about faith and how unsupported I felt in the decisions I was making for the Lord because of how it looked to most people. She said something that lifted me up and reminded me I wasn’t alone in those feelings. She said, “That is faith, there is always a veil over the next step.” I looked back on all of my past faith moves and remembered all of the unknowns yet how God had provided. I recalled all the greats of the Bible and the unknowns they faced yet kept persevering because God knew:
The flood that was coming.
The sea that needed to be parted.
The disease on the horizon.
The invaders on the way to destroy.
The baby being sent…
He knew it all and those living in the present, willing to have their plans changed, willing to be judged because what they were doing didn’t make sense…
Well, they became part of the future. Part of the Lord’s purpose that prevailed.
Father, today we surrender our future to you. Help us to release our fears and concerns about what tomorrow may bring. Let us just live in today yet make the wisest decisions we can make to bring about Your plans, not our own. When we feel scared, reassure us and mobilize us to move anyway. When you bring help, let us receive it. And most of all Father, please make us wise not to be deceived but to know your voice and let it alone be what guides us. Thank you for never leaving us. For believing in us and for trusting us to bring about your plans here on earth until Jesus returns. It is in His name we offer this prayer to you. Amen.
Living in the present with you, Julie
P.S. Today’s photo is of Moe, an amazing mule that pulled our boat up the I&M canal. I was inspired by Moe for after a lifetime of pulling heavy things, he retired to keep working. What he pulls now has less resistance as it is in water, but it is still work and some days they said, he just lays down when he is tired. His body is older, he has aches and pains, but he keeps stepping forward despite all the weight he is dragging behind him. He has perseverance and little does he know that he only had a few more tours left to do before his hard working days are behind him for he was on the verge of a full retirement. When he needs a break he stops and thankfully he had a great caregiver who encouraged him to continue the journey when he felt like giving up. If God will send someone to care for his mule Moe, He will send someone for you too, keep stepping! Your life matters!
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Future
Show me the next step I should take.