“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
Seven years ago, the sun was starting to set on a late September fall evening. My oldest son was on his small bike ahead of me and my youngest in a baby seat on the back of my bike. My husband had just moved out and we were headed into the unknown. Deep down I felt a lot of things but two very opposing feelings rose in that moment. Excitement and fear about what was to come. I remember looking ahead towards the horizon feeling so grateful for the moment I was having and whispering this prayer to God as I headed into single parenthood, “Please help me not to feel lonely.”
That may seem like a trivial thing to pray in that momentous moment. It may seem selfish and I suppose it was, but that prayer went beyond having a partner to share loving my children with and watching them grow. It went beyond handling “adult” things like managing a house, a job, and balancing the needs of young children without another to share the daily burdens with. What I know now that I didn’t know then was the fear of loneliness had more to do with stepping on the “Path to Surrender,” and less about stepping off of the path of my marriage.
Leaving things to follow the Lord was the uncharted path I was facing and truth is, there have been many lonely moments. I can’t lie. Lonely moments when I am not even physically alone. Moments when it seems there is no one who understands the circumstances I am in or the walk God has called me to. Judgements and persecutions for the choices I have made in my surrender as God has taught me to depend on Him. Moments where I realize I am the only one God has called to do what He has called me to do. When I have cried out to Him, saying, “Even the disciples went out two by two…” Then I look at my children, I look back on our life, my life, and I recall
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you…” Deuteronomy 31:8
God was with me since I was born. He was with me when I turned away from Him even when I didn’t realize I was turning away from Him. He had prepared a small town family to receive me when I started to return to Him. And He gave me two warriors in training to travel the road back to Him with, which has been filled with blessings, treasures, and snares. He never left me. He did not forsake me. He knew the motivation I needed to finish strong this life He called me to and there was one key ingredient along the way.
Faith.
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
“Now Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
What this journey has taught me is what Faith really is. Learning to love God with all of my heart, soul, and mind. Choosing to believe what He has said and shown us. And putting legs on that belief by taking steps forward into the unknown. It is scary. It is lonely at times. It is difficult, but He has caught me every time. Faith isn’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t for fair weather fans. It is for warriors who don’t get knocked down without getting back up. Who keep their eyes on that prize ahead. Who believe the sun will rise in the morning even when it is darkness all around. It is believing that the difficult circumstances we face are temporary and we need to journey on.
Many years ago, early in my “path to surrender,” I was in angst at the park one night. Asking God when change would come. When relief from my present suffering would come. All I wanted was a date and time to look forward to (ha!). When I returned to my car, the time on my phone went wonky (this is an unbelievable yet very true occurrence). The time changed to 8:18 yet it was early evening maybe the 5:00-7:00 hours. I looked to the car time which was correct and the next time I clicked my phone it was back to the matching time, yet 8:18 stuck with me, hmmm. Months passed before this verse passed before me:
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Faith holds the key that unlocks the door to our future. It helps us step out of the prison of our present suffering, whatever that may be, and sets us free to walk closer and closer to “the glory that will be.”
So, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Each step we take beyond our “present sufferings,” gets us closer to the “glory that will be” and not just “be” that will be “revealed in us.” Our faith will reveal glory in us. God will be in us and through us, all around us all we have to do is believe and keep stepping forward.
Stepping in faith with you, Julie
P.S. The image today was completely unplanned! I have this sign hanging on my closet door. I took a picture of it to share with someone recently and I noticed the key hole peeking up in the background. It was this beautiful visual image of what Faith really is. A key that unlocks that door to abundant blessings. We all have access to that key.
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Faith
Show me the next step I should take.