“Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?” James 3:11(KJV)
A fountain was springing forth in our home this week, but it wasn’t sweet water. It seemed every time I went to refresh from the water of life, circumstances would bring about unfavorable situations, attitudes, frustrations and despite my best efforts, I felt that feeling again….I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but I didn’t like it. Where I saw the negative side, not the positive one. Where I angered quicker than normal. The feeling that comes when I remember all I have done to spread love, peace, sacrifice and am returned with no appreciation, feelings of being unheard, and dissension. Eventually, I realized what I was feeling and I was so excited to figure it out because only then may it finally serve its purpose and pass. It was a mouthful of bitterness.
When bitterness settles in, be watchful for before you know it all the sweetness may run dry. Bitterness tends to breed more bitterness and you may even begin to feel bitter about feeling bitter! Defined as “intensely unpleasant, especially in coldness or rawness; accompanied by severe pain or suffering1,” bitterness truly is a difficult emotion to work through. I may argue it might just be the feeling or emotion that could take a devout Christian and set them on the path to destruction.
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15
For the trouble with bitterness is that the carrier of that bitterness tends to justify the right to be bitter and in many cases, there is a lot of reason to be bitter. I once heard a sermon about bitterness and the pastor compared it to taking a spoonful of cocoa. It was a great visual; however, I think I would prefer the cocoa! Life has served me up some spoonfuls of bitterness that burn on the way down. Most of my bitter moments came after surrendering to God. In those moments I was actually listening to the Lord instead of just pursuing my own wants and desires and I seemed to come up short in someone else’s eyes. When I took intentional steps but was rejected or betrayed. When I sat humbly with circumstances poor while another looked down upon me in judgement.
Several years ago, I traded in my degrees and titles for “mom,” “friend,” “daughter.” I traded my dress clothes for “comfy clothes and pj’s.” I traded in a generous paycheck for “just enough.” I traded in the status of “homeowner,” to “temporary renter.” I traded in “fitting in” for “standing out.” I traded in my wants, goals, and desires to pursue something greater because when I tried it the other way, I came up empty. Yet finding this “answer” came with the bitter taste left behind when I was met with judgement, resistance, and unpleasant situations that tested my faith. Like the times I walked with someone I loved through difficult circumstances only to have their back turned on me at an hour of greatest need. Times I was left to have a discussion with my children about a topic I wasn’t prepared to do so that early. Times love and loyalty were met with rejection and betrayal. Bitter.
But God….He prepares us for bitterness…
“For like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.” Psalm 37:2
We aren’t alone. Many greats of the Bible had their fair share of bitterness. The prodigal son who had loyally and responsibly stood by his father while his brother recklessly lived only to step back as that same brother was celebrated upon his humble return. (Luke 15:11-32). Or Jonah, who had run away from God’s request of him to share a message of warning to the people of Nineveh because he didn’t think they deserved His grace and mercy. And while they scurried around redeemed, forgiven, Jonah sat from afar…..bitter (Jonah 1-4). What about all the prophets who were filled with God’s words and warnings for His people, only to be mocked, laughed at, cast aside, and ridiculed because it would take years before those warnings of destruction would take place.
However justified our bitterness, we don’t want to find ourselves in this humbling place:
“’Yes,’ Jonah said, ‘it is; it is right for me to be angry enough to die!”
“Then the Lord said, ‘You feel sorry for yourself when… And why shouldn’t I feel sorry for a great city like Nineveh with its 120,000 people in utter spiritual darkness and all its cattle?” (Jonah 10-11)
See, bitterness can make us elevate our own needs, wants, discomforts, and desires to seem more important than that of others; however, there is a much bigger picture than that outside of our own field of vision. We have to test our bitterness at the root, our heart. Are we causing our own bitterness because of selfish ambition or envy? An elevation of our own needs over others? OR has our bitterness been caused by a true injustice that was undeserved? Does it matter? Righteous bitterness or unrighteous bitterness ends in the same result—chaos, disorder, and destruction. Tainting the fountain of water for everyone drinking.
So, back to cocoa…that same pastor, who compared bitterness to cocoa, reminded us how cocoa turns sweet, by adding a little sugar. While it may seem there isn’t enough sugar to sweeten your circumstances, use one spoonful at a time. If we all start offering a spoonful of sugar, we may just cause that bitter root to whither up.
We ALL have something to be bitter about. Any situation taken from both sides can leave a bitter taste for both parties. Take a man who has committed murder. His victim’s family drinks in bitterness daily as their loved one is gone, while he too sips on bitterness in his cell at the dire consequences of a poor choice in a fit of anger. Bitterness. Or the child who watches his father hold and smile over a son from a different mother than his own while no father holds him not realizing the father has daily reminders of his own failings the first time around. Bitterness. Or maybe it is the loving mother who has been present and faithful for her family and receives an unexpected diagnosis, taking in every moment as deeply as possible, while another mother chooses not to see her family due to hurt feelings she cannot see beyond. Bitterness.
From this day forward, let’s:
Trade in our bitterness and trust that God has a plan that includes all of us.
Remember we have all tasted the bitter water and none of us like it.
Use those bitter experiences to help us sweeten someone else’s and remind them they are not alone.
Become “fountains of sweet water”
Trading in bitterness for sweetness, Julie
P.S. Today’s image is a tender one for me. This tree was planted as a symbol of our growing family. My two boys, I, and someone we loved purchased this tree, drove it home, dug the hole, chopped old dead roots, and placed it in the ground to form new, healthy, living roots. A short time later, the someone we loved left our life suddenly, leaving bitterness behind. I see this tree from my kitchen window every day and when my bitterness was freshest, I asked God how something with such life could remain from something that was seemingly destroyed and He has continued to remind me that what is planted in love never fails. Last summer was hot and dry, and it was difficult to water the tree. It’s symbolism tarnished in a way…but in just a couple short months, leaves will emerge, and the sweetness of living water will soak into those roots for I am choosing not to let a “root of bitterness” spring forth, but one of Hope.
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Bitterness
Show me the next step I should take.