“It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.” Ecclesiastes 5:5
Working full time with children, activities, and home responsibilities led to lots of busyness in my early parenting years. Although I longed to get more of home time and less “go” time, it was hard to find that because the world has a way of engineering peace and stillness out of our lives. After I made the decision to surrender and follow God, He led me to an unusual spot…one of less…one of stillness…one of availability.
I recall the year I had left my career to teach at my sons’ school and COVID hit. I went from busy busy busy to home and more stillness. The home part and the family part felt just right, and the next step was leading us to stay home the next year. I was excited about this as I wanted to slow down and be present as much as possible, but I did fear things like (no paycheck). I felt like I had to explain how I was doing this new lifestyle, but God kept whispering, “Just be still.” Gosh it was uncomfortable at first, but I knew the busyness of the last several years, the saving, selling, consolidating, trimming was preparing me for such a time as this, so I did my best to settle in and be present.
What I began to realize was that God couldn’t call me or send me if I was always saying “no” I’m too busy. Or “No, I don’t feel like it because I wore myself out doing stuff I wanted.” He needed me available when He was ready for me. I began to learn to wait and be ok with no plans so that I could shift as He needed me too. This theme has come up time and again in my journey seeking God in the every day. There is a period of knocking and seeking, but there is often a period, sometimes a long period of waiting for a door to be opened and in the waiting, remaining available to help someone who needs it, play a game with someone, read a book with someone, to someone, or for someone, or listening on the phone to a friend who needs encouragement.
This availability stretches outside the home to a friend who is tied down with young ones and getting out is harder, but me being at a different stage in parenting may find certain tasks easier now to support them. Being available for the activity or program to support a friend’s child or even themselves to learn more about their passions. Maybe even arriving early or staying late at an event or home for set up or clean up.
Making yourself “available” is such a gift. It invites opportunities in that wouldn’t be there had each hour of the day been planned.
We have to lean into the Lord to know when to say yes and when to say no. We can’t be available for EVERYTHING right? But are we only making ourselves available for what we want vs what God may want for us?
A couple years ago, my boys and I were approached to help clean a home being prepared for someone who had moved. It was a great opportunity to help as well as earn a little income. We said yes, we picked the date, and as the day grew nearer, several other life circumstances had worn us all down and honestly, I felt guilty pushing my kids to get up early this particular weekend morning, make the longer drive, and clean for a day. But something in me knew we were capable and we had committed, so I prayed God would breathe new life into us and fill us with what we needed for the day. Driving there weary, I was definitely in a much more surrendered place and I faced the day calmer and probably less enthusiastic, but it was just what we all needed. We worked well as a team, we had a little fun too and in the end, I was so glad that we followed through for we actually had so much enthusiasm when we left, much more than when we came!
“Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:5
But what about when we say “yes” not to hurt someone’s feelings, but have no intention of following through? Or we say “no” with good reason but waver because we are afraid we disappointed someone?
Being available also lends itself to saying “yes or no.” And God does caution us on that…
“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37
How do we know when to say “yes” vs “no”? What I have found is that many invitations away from our normal routine are Divine opportunities to encounter God, build relationships, serve in some way, or refresh us and often can be turned down because our personal plans have filled out the schedule. So, next time you get an invitation, pause….maybe this one is from God and coming through another person. It may be just what you need to refuel for the rest of your day.
Father, there is so much to do many days and we can often get lost in our own lists and goals. Please help us to hear you when we get an invitation and nudge us when we should be saying yes instead of saying no. Give us the strength to follow through when we have said yes. Give us the courage to say no when we need to and feel at peace about that decision. Deliver us from places of indecision, constant need to please, or fear of doing new things and always saying no. Help us to seek your approval before the approval of others, we need it! We love you, we appreciate you. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
P.S. Today’s image is the boys and I ringing the Salvation Army bell. Full disclosure I wasn’t looking forward to the below freezing temps in the dark, but who knew what the weather would be when we signed up. But I will tell you what, I’m glad we showed up!
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Availability
Show me the next step I should take.