“… ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’…” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Raising two sons is challenging and fulfilling at the same time. I guess that is like most things in life, the things that you persevere through that challenge you the most can also fulfill you the most, but they can also lead to disappointments… The more you invest, love, and pour into someone or something, the greater the disappointment you suffer when things go off track or dissolve all together for that matter.
It isn’t fun to sit in disappointment…..but I think even worse is to sit in the feeling that you are the cause of the disappointment. Have you been there? Harder still, watching someone you love sit in a place of sorrow because they believe they have disappointed you and despite forgiveness offered, they are not able to receive it to forgive themselves. I think that may lead to an extra dose of disappointment.
After having one of those “disappointment” conversations this week, and seeing the weight it carried, I began to also think about some of the greatest disappointments in my life, and the irony is they were situations where people disengaged or “left” my life because they believed they had disappointed me. When in reality the situation leading to disappointment was temporary, but the loss of the relationship due to the inability to face that disappointment was far greater. I really paused and reflected on this for some time as I asked God what He had to teach me about these things and He reminded me where hiding due to disappointment all began…
“…and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” Genesis 3:8
At the beginning of God’s creation, when Adam and Eve ate from the tree that God had commanded them not to eat from they realized they were naked and when God called for them, they hid. This was like the mother of all disappointments not only for God but really for the entire world. The beautiful open dialogue He once had with his creation had turned into a game of hide and seek the truth. The consequence for His creation was significant…
“And the Lord God said, ‘The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.’” Genesis 3:22
God went on to banish Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden to work the ground…
You can understand why Adam and Eve hid, I mean I can only imagine having to face God himself when doing the only thing He asked me not to do. And one day we all will face God.
“For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” 2 Corinthians 5:10
The other interesting aspect I picked up was when God questioned Adam and Eve’s actions, they both blamed someone, Adam (my wife did it!) and Eve (the serpent deceived me!). You sense the fear that came in as to whose fault was it really. I get a dose of this with my boys on a daily basis and I often tell them, “I see and hear a lot of what happens, just speak the truth, don’t spend so much time defending what you did.” I am sure God knew what happened that day; He is omniscient after all….and I am sure He felt disappointment at what happened. Not to mention how He felt as He watched His creation suffer in the consequence of it
The weight of disappointment causes many, if not most to run and hide. It is very difficult to face someone you have hurt or disappointed, but I will tell you, God has enabled me to step in front of others time and again when something went amiss. It may seem terrifying, but you can’t fully experience the grace of God until you take a leap requiring it. Standing in that fire to apologize, own a mistake, or acknowledge someone’s hurt is terrifying, but doing so truly can set you free and in some cases restore a relationship that is lost. It takes courage on both sides, one to step forward, the other to forgive.
If you really want to feel the Holy Spirit running through your veins, look someone in the face, make a call, or send a note to someone who has disappointed you or you have been disappointed by and offer forgiveness—you will never be the same. You will never be more fulfilled. AND you will feel the love of God maybe greater than you ever have.
This week, I wrapped up grading for an online class I was leading, I submitted grades and logged out of the system, but a day or two later, something nudged me to log back in one more time. I am so grateful I did for sitting in my inbox was a message from a student. She had gotten the courage to speak up about her worry of “disappointing” during the semester because of a series of circumstances that happened and she had been “hiding,” ultimately. Not responding. But that day, she chose to stand in the light and explain and I couldn’t have been prouder more than anything she could have accomplished in an assignment. It was character building good stuff!
Father, today, give us courage to stand in the fire of disappointments. The ones we feel from others, the ones we may have caused. Let us take a deep breath and remember you sent Jesus to free us from our sins and we can be forgiven, but we have to choose to accept that gift. Let the Holy Spirit move so powerfully within us that we show love to those we may have hurt rather than fear for the disappointment we may have caused. Let the cycle of hiding stop with us and let us all sit in the light of you and your love with others. In Jesus name we pray these things. We need your help. We love you. Amen.
P.S. In case that person doesn’t receive you the way you hope, it is ok. Remember God sees your heart and He is still working!
P.S.S. Today’s image is kind of a silly one. We visited Kentucky Down Under over the summer and there was an area to feed kangaroos! Well amongst all the kangaroos that drew people in, this Emu came up and wanted his share of love and food. I loved it because he didn’t fear being a disappointment because he wasn’t the furry, cute, main attraction, he owned who he was, had a big smile on his face and still wanted some love and food! Let us be a little more like that, not worried about being a disappointment, but showing up and being the best us we can be and even if we disappoint, putting a smile on someone’s face 🙂
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Disappointments
Show me the next step I should take.