“I’m weary, exhausted with weeping. My throat is dry, my voice is gone, my eyes are swollen with sorrow, and I’m waiting for you, God, to come through for me.” Psalm 69:3 TPT
This verse written centuries ago pierced me in the heart this morning. I was sitting down to type about what God had been teaching me this week about my voice and it was as if He saw my soul. Every word was true in a translation I hadn’t read before, a verse I wasn’t familiar with. I hope you feel as seen as I did when I read it. I did lose my voice this week and the verse I was looking for was:
“The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.” Luke 1: 19-20
What had happened was Zechariah had been told his elderly wife was going to have a baby by an angel, and he questioned it. His consequence, silence, no voice. Harsh, right?
But God…
I suppose God didn’t think that verse matched why my voice was gone so He intercepted my devotion today and said, “I think this one suits you better.” He is always right!
My oh my, I guess if I’m fully honest, I have been weary, exhausted with weeping, my throat is definitely dry and my voice, yep, gone. My eyes feel swollen and burn (but I haven’t actually looked at them yet) and I do desperately wait on God to come through for me and help me overcome the challenges I just can’t seem to on my own.
Often God has asked me to do this for others:
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves…” Proverbs 31:8
But what about when it is you who needs help speaking or being heard, is God asking others to help speak on your behalf?
I found myself at a trampoline park with my boys yesterday. I used to bounce like the rest of them, but now it almost seems inevitable I require a chiropractor adjustment after going so I am much more cautious, ha! It was a special night with lights out and I found myself outnumbered by young people with a lot more energy and enthusiasm. First wakeup call was when my oldest battled me over a foam pit and in his attempt to win blasted me in the face with the foam thing we were using—not sure what to call it. It hurt! He wasn’t trying to hurt me, but sometimes forgets I am not a 12 year old boy! Then another young man blasted me in the face hard during dodgeball; that woke me up. But, since headshots don’t count, yep, I actually won that game and was the last woman standing! By the end of the night I was in the bathroom holding my face wanting to weep… but God…. He saw me…
When we arrived home, just before bed, we realized that one of our extra special guinea pigs who is 6 years old wasn’t moving normally. My son had noticed she hadn’t been eating as much for a few days so we had been watching her, but tonight she wasn’t moving well and as I pulled her from the cage, I saw a few more signs of struggle in her, yet she hadn’t made a peep. She couldn’t speak. She had to wait for us to “see” her. But God….He took me to her, when normally I wouldn’t always be the one doing the evening check.
Then, this morning I could hear a tink, tink, tink in the kitchen, we had secured a tiny mouse in our live trap. Yes, roll your eyes, we live in the country and actually live trapped a mouse and it isn’t our first time. After using a traditional trap and being successful, my kids realized that mice look like our hamster at the time and it was a bit traumatic, so we release them and thankfully have only had a couple come our way. Although that mouse couldn’t speak, the little sounds and our cat sitting staring behind the refrigerator gave him a voice.
What God has shown me over and over is:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26
I am not sure what has worn you out. I do not know what has caused you weeping. I don’t know if your throat is dry or your voice is gone truly or figuratively. I do not know if your eyes are swollen from tears or if you want to cry but cannot. But I do not that God will come through for you. Wait on Him.
“For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20: 15
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Voice
Show me the next step I should take.