“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Hands down, giving birth to my first child was the hardest physical thing I have ever been through to date. I had done lots of 1st time mom preparation, I took the birthing class, read books, got the weekly emails about what was happening in my body, and had my car packed with key, “just in case I go in labor” items. I even had a friend who had recently read some books about ways to prepare for labor pains; one was to hold ice in your hand as long as you could until the pain was too much. This was to build endurance. (HILARIOUS because this did not simulate child birth pains, HA!) Back when I was preparing for the labor and delivery of my new baby, I truly hadn’t come fully into my faith yet. I still had more fear than faith. I hadn’t “labored” for the Lord yet in order to experience what delivery means, so I grasped at anything I could to plan and prepare for the unexpected.
At 39 weeks and 2 days, I wedged my large, uncomfortable body inside of my vehicle. Slowly drove to work and took on another day of “You had that baby yet?” comments to which the response of “Not yet,” seemed so obvious…I was just feeling done. As I sat working on a financial spreadsheet, I stood up and well, my water broke. I didn’t realize it yet, but soon did. Thankfully this first time mom had packed towels in the car because as my doctor had predicted, it was like Niagara Falls! One woman from our office drove me to the hospital to drop me off for the most significant “labor and delivery” experience I had ever had. An experience that changed my relationship with God and my entire view of labor, delivery, and the world.
Labor, is associated with a great, physical work. We celebrate Labor Day for the hard work our workers put in every day. Up until the day I gave physical birth to my child, I had never truly “labored” for the Lord; I just “labored” for a paycheck. Something felt very different about this labor. It was a seemingly impossible labor experience where I knew what the end “should” look like but I had no idea all of the little things that would happen to get me to that delivery point. I remember as contractions started double-peaking and the urge to push came on like something I had never experienced before, I looked at a cross on the wall and thought, “Even God can’t take this from me now.” I had to go through it, like Moses and the Red Sea. My labor was moving along quite well, but I was terrified. I had really hoped to have as natural a child birth as possible, but I didn’t know if I could really do it. I had minimal encouragement to move in that direction and as the faces of nurses looked at me with doubt, I made a decision to move forward in that way and just whispered with each breath, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” My doctor had not arrived when the urge to push came. I was told to resist that urge and breathe through. My entire body shook because it wanted to push! Finally she arrived and when I got permission to push, I was confused…..a push felt like a whole lot of effort and literally NO physical change seemed to happen. It was like a solid brick wall unmoving down there. Another push. She told me I was doing great, but I felt NO progress. I believe it was the third push when she said, “One more push, and I think we will have this baby out.” “What was she seeing that I was not feeling?” I wondered. I pushed with all that I had and then, relief. My baby and I were delivered.
I hadn’t reflected on this “labor” and “delivery” experience in many years in the way I am today. That son is 11 years old now. He was my “Ishmael” as I alluded to Hagar in last week’s devotion “Eyes,” God blessed me with “eyes to see” after he was born. I began to experience God really for what felt like the first time. I had felt the physical pain of labor and experienced the relief of delivery and started being a believer. This wowzer experience is actually when I began writing. Chapter 5 of The Path to Surrender, Finding Your Way Back to the Flock began in this beautiful time of unwrapping the significance of God through this experience. Since that moment, God has helped me see labor differently again and again. When I labored for Him in my marriage, He delivered me through divorce. When I labored for Him for my family, He delivered us to new starts, forgiveness, and healing. When I labored for Him to earn money, He delivered me from debts. When I labored for Him for relationships, He delivered me from unhealthy ones and healed others. When I labored for Him for my parenting, He delivered me (still does) from difficult moments and restores us to new love and truth for one another. When I labored for him for my home, He delivered me from working alone and placed me where I would have more space and more help.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
God used my physical “labor and delivery” experience to teach me one of the deepest truths I have learned, that when I depend on Him for my delivery, He will strengthen me for the labor required.
But God….
I can also look back and see the people He sent during my “labor” experiences as He was preparing me for delivery. Each labor required periods of breathing and waiting; periods of pushing and holding back. Each labor required help. Each bit of help, also required my receiving of it. People cannot help us if we say no. My greatest delivery experiences required someone coming along side me at just the right moment and for me to admit, “I need help.” Grace and humility….sometimes even a little desperation.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
You may have never given birth to a child, but you understand labor. You have an experience or many where your body, mind, or spirit has had to work harder than it ever has. When you felt like giving up and you weren’t sure how to keep going. Hang in there! Help is on the way. When you are laboring for the Lord, He sees you! He will send helpers, but you need to admit you need help and receive it when He sends it! It likely won’t get easy, but it will get done if you don’t give up. I believe in you.
Laboring with you, Julie
Father, Today I Surrender:
My Labor
Show me the next step I should take.