Gentleness

“What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit?”  1 Corinthians 4:21

It was a hot July day. The kind of day where my boys would prefer we stay in our cool, air-conditioned home when I offered a suggestion that made them both groan. Cautiously, I asked “What would you think about going to a new nature center for a hike today?” It had been on my mind to visit this place for a couple years and something felt like today was the day, but it would take a lot of encouragement of my kiddos. A few hours later, we pulled in. We were the only car. I quickly realized today was less about a hike, it was a day God was going to school me on gentleness….

Rewind back to when I woke up, the first thing I read was a devotional calendar that said: “Gentleness is a humble meekness that is calm, soothing, peaceful, and easy to be around……” The description continued and I took pause. Just above that daily calendar hangs a wooden sign that lists the fruits of the spirit:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”  Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness, there it was again.  So I wondered, “Am I gentle, Lord?”

My mind traced back over the course of my life. As a child I loved animals!  I even admired bees. I would watch them land on flowers, place my hands cupped around them and bring them to show my parents, never getting stung.  Growing into my junior high years, I was a peer mediator for a stretch of time where I helped people resolve conflict. Moving into in high school, I was nominated senior “Most Feminine.”  I remember thinking that didn’t describe me at all, but it makes me think of the gentleness of a woman. I had the hairiest arms of any girl and there were many more beautifully dressed, donning more jewelry, with better hair styles and fashion, or behaving more feminine than I did.  I was also quieter than I am now, meeker, more timid, and less willing to speak up at difficult moments; that’s gentle, right?

Life got a little harder. That gentle lover of animals endured a lot of hardships.  I’m not sure how much gentleness was left when God made me a mom…..

Becoming a mom changed everything for me. Truly, becoming a mother is when I became a Christian and I committed myself to raising my children to know the Lord.  Knowing the Lord means learning to speak truth, stand for truth, and live truth….which I hadn’t always been doing, nor did I know what that looked like. Carrying the weight of the gospel requires one to be

 “…as bold as a lion,” Proverbs 28:1 and “like a gentle lamb…” Jeremiah 11:19 

After a divorce, I found myself playing the roles of mother sometimes and father other times. Sometimes I had to be gentle like a lamb and the other times as bold as a lion. The swing in roles back and forth challenged me. It still does!  The back and forth balance of gentle love with fiery boldness.  In Ecclesiastes 3 we learn there is a time for everything…

“a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;  a time to tear and a time to mend.” Ecclesiastes 3: 5, 7

So returning back to the hike in the woods, as we started walking, one of my sons had his head down and plotted the turnaround spot from the beginning. He was convinced I was leading us into trouble. As my irritation built and built to a point of us venturing down different paths literally and figuratively, we finally met and God whispered….”It’s time for gentleness.”  As truth started to spill out, I learned that his fears were showing up as disagreement and disobedience. We found a bench half way on the “Stands Tall Tree” trail, like our Heavenly Father himself was towering above and around us. I was able to see my son and understand his fears and give him some gentle encouragement to finish the path and address his concerns. We made it out and even had fun cleaning all the mud that had caked on our shoes before we got back in the car.  My other son got to practice a role in support and leadership in ways he had not done before and I realized this hike was a family building experience. It may not have been “fun,” but it taught us a lot about ourselves and each other.

Being bold in truth and stepping back to be gentle as a lamb can be very difficult at times. In my elementary school years, most parent teacher conferences went: “She is doing great, but she doesn’t speak.”  When God helped me find my voice, the new challenge became learning to speak truth yet remain gentle.  For me speaking at all was such a success that gentleness wasn’t always my priority.  Even Moses ran into this problem.  After delivering the Israelites from the slavery, enduring the Plagues of Egypt, and witnessing God parting the Red Sea, his people doubted and questioned.  When God asked him to speak to a rock so water may be delivered to his thirsty people, Moses called them “rebels” and struck the rock in a way that disobeyed God and while water flowed, consequences did too (Numbers 20). 

I’m not sure what life circumstances have tested your gentle spirit, but you are not alone.  Whether man or woman, young or old, married or single, I pray we can all learn how to be bold as lions for God’s truth yet remain gentle, for truth wrapped in a package of gentleness will much more likely be received and opened than truth wrapped up in any other package like hurt, anger, or disappointment.

Father mold us into your image of gentleness so that our truth is actually heard on ears that will listen. Help us as we learn to use our bold “lion” voices tempered with our gentle “lamb” spirits.

In Love, Julie

P.S.  Today’s image is my 3 year old “Gentle Julie” loving on some kittens that mama cat put in my closet. We all have an inner gentleness, take a moment today to find a picture of you being gentle and remember you are as bold as a lion but as gentle as a lamb (or kitten)

Father, Today I Surrender:

My Gentleness

Show me the next step I should take.

With love and support on your journey,  Julie

If you felt inspired by this message, join The Path to Surrender flock by signing up to receive a weekly devotion below.